Monday, September 16, 2013

Snippet from some Bar Stories: The Graduates

This is on

It also received a mention HERE under Art and Entertainment.

The Graduates

When my friend and fellow grad student Bill and I were about to graduate with MA's in lit, we rented "The Graduate"--on vhs if you want a time period. I had free room and board in exchange for keeping an eye on Mr. Stewart, an octogenarian who had just lost his wife and suffered congestive heart failure at her funeral. Actually, the real reason was that he was just too stubborn to move into a nursing home, and I was glad to be there to support at least his stubbornness. All I had to do was help him out a bit, make sure he was okay or call an ambulance when needed, just be there if something happened.

I'm pretty sure the movie was all Bill's idea, and I'm pretty sure it was all on a Thursday night right before going out for traditional college party night. I seem to remember that we went to the store together to get the beer, and we picked up a twelve pack of Olympia beer. "The Graduate" offered us no insight into the future, but beyond that it was a great film with a score solely by Simon and Garfunkel, who I grew up listening to as my mom cleaned house.

As we were watching the movie, beer after beer--the ones we drank along with the ones Dustin Hoffman drank--were all Olympia Beer. By some luck, serendipity, fate or whatever, and neither of us ever having seen the movie before, we had picked the same exact beer Dustin Hoffman was drinking in "The Graduate."

Now, I told this to modern day Bill, and he claims it was his idea to do that. Maybe he forgot to tell me. Maybe I remember it differently. I still like my story better.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

House of the Matriarch Chapter 1 by Fred L. Taubee Jr.

House of the Matriarch By Fred L. Taulbee Jr.  

Copyright 2010
Go HERE for all the chapters up so far.
Purchase the whole novel at most ebook retailers or HERE.

Chapter 1            Ana

            Ana and the house were like one.
            She couldn’t open her eyes. She was suffocating, moving slower than slow motion, a sticky hovering sensation as something moist and firm and suffocating pressed in on all sides and seeped into her nose and mouth and ears and eyes.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Snippet Bar Stories Older Me Talks to Younger Me

Older me talking to younger me.

How many of those tuxedo shirts do you have?


Do you think you'll ever own one?

I'm more into movie t-shirts.

What if I told you one day you would own no fewer than seven tuxedo t-shirts?

That's ridiculous. Who in their right mind would own that many?

You'll have quite a few regular ones, a Reservoir Dogs one, a zombie prom one, and a St. Patrick's Day one.

That doesn't seem like me at all.

You're going to be a bartender, and it's going to wind up being long term. You're not going to be one of those people who bartends for three months and says you're a bartender. And it's not going to be a beer bar where you just serve beer in bottles. Eventually, they're going to have over a hundred beers sure, but you're going to have the ingredients to make nearly every mixed drink there is. They won't sell grain alcohol like Everclear or Diesel but the latter will be in the jello shots. And they won't always keep fresh herbs around, like mint for mojitos. But everything else they're going to have.

That's crazy. I don't think I can be a bartender.

You know how you got into cooking last year?


Same thing.

Bartending is like cooking?

Yeah. You just throw some ingredients together, cook it up and serve it.

I still don't think I can be a bartender.

That's not what you're going to say though. About four years ago, for me anyway, Patty, the daughter and business partner to Ms. Kim, the owner, is going to say to Ms. Kim that Fred might make a good bartender. She's going to say this in earshot of you. And it's going to leave a blank look on your face.

How is that supposed to change my mind?

Oh, it's not. I mean, Patty and Ms. Kim are good people, but I wasn't done. You see you're going to have to leave California and come back to the place you grew up.



I never really call it my hometown either.

That's because I'm you.

I know but you're so weird.

Yeah, you too.

They laugh.

Anyway, where was I?

Leaving California.

You're gong to have to leave California. You'll come here and wind up teaching.



I was going to fall back on teaching when I got older.

Yeah, well it will happen sooner than expected.  So, you're going to be free weekends, but so broke you can barely afford the beer, and to Patty and Ms. Kim you say yes automatically without even thinking about it because you need the money and being the aspiring writer that you are, you think it might be good story material. And here we are. There's a lot more to it than that. It won't all be fun and games. It's downright hard sometimes. Your weekends will disappear. Time will fly. You'll only be able to go out weeknights when nobody will be out.

Well, bartenders they get--

No they don't, son. You're going to be too damn busy working to have any kind of relationship, let alone sex.

Well, I think I'll like that zombie prom tuxedo shirt.

Yeah, I do.